Saw a bit of a ding-dong going on, on LinkedIn as to ‘what makes a copywriter’.
There was lots of posturing and keyboard bravery, and talk of ‘experience’ and ‘mastery of tone of voice’.
However, I think everyone involved missed the mark entirely. These, below, are the absolute essentials that ‘make a copywriter’ and must be looked for by any business aiming to hire one;
*Glasses (preferably two pairs – one with black frames, one with red – to switch between, for no apparent reason).
*A beard: close-clipped or full on. In lieu of this, female copywriters must wear at least two unusual rings that can only be bought from one shop/stall in the country.
*At least one chunky cardigan – ideally green, grey, or a soft, warm brown.
*A notebook full of utterly incomprehensible scribbles.
*A constant angst-ridden expression.
*They must be in the process of ‘writing a novel’.
*They should drop at least one book or film reference into every conversation.
*They should drink a worrying amount of coffee, and make sure that everyone knows just how much coffee they drink.
If less than three of these essential traits are apparent, then you have not hired a copywriter: you have simply hired someone who ‘wrote a good essay at uni once’.